Five Things I Learned in February {2/28/14}

Hey y’all!

I’m back after being away for a couple of weeks, so instead of just sharing my five favorite moments from this week, I was inspired by Emily at Chatting at the Sky to share what I’ve learned in February. So without further ado, here are 5 things that I learned in February –

1. Showing up matters.

When we found out that my brother-in-law’s mother had passed away after battling cancer for a year, Matt and I did the only thing that we knew to do – we showed up. We found a flight that would get us to FL despite the snowstorm and when we finally got to FL, we drove around with my brother-in-law and sister while they did necessary errands. We listened when they needed to talk. We were ok with being quiet. (The Sunday before, Matt and I had heard a sermon about how to let people grieve, and it ended up being very timely and helpful.) There were times that I doubted we had done the right thing – Are we in the way? I don’t want to distract them. But afterwards my sister told me that she never before understood how important it is to go to funerals to show the family your support. Sometimes more than flowers or cards or anything else – showing up matters.

2. Saying “no” is ok.

Last weekend we went snowboarding with my sister, brother-in-law, and brother. I had been fighting some cold/flu crap since Monday, so by the time Friday rolled around I was not feeling like myself. I felt guilty for saying that I wanted to just stay back at the room and rest, but it ended up being the best thing for me. I am usually a “yes” person and have trouble setting boundaries, but last week was a good reminder to me that I need to say “no” more often.

3. Others will give you grace.

I suppose I learned my lesson above when it came time to make a decision about a long day trip tomorrow for a baby shower. See, for 7 of the last 9 Saturdays, we’ve either been gone (most of those full weekend trips) or I have been working so I am tired, our house is dirty, Trixie needs a bath, our laundry has piled up, and I need a day at home. I decided that I was going to have to miss the baby shower and I told my friend but out of embarrassment didn’t give much of an explanation. She didn’t ask for a reason, but just gave me grace. She told me she understood, that she was looking forward to seeing me another time soon, and that she couldn’t wait for me to meet her baby. I almost cried with joy. I’m so thankful for friends who love me and show me grace even when I’m a mess.

4. Good enough is good enough.

When we were snowboarding, my brother was intent on improving his skills and learning how to snowboard better. I applaud him for his effort. It was great – by the end he was looking like a pro! Me, not so much. But that’s another thing I’ve learned this month. I have limited energy, time, and resources. I have to let some things be good enough. On our snowboarding trip, I made a conscious decision to just enjoy snowboarding at my current skill level and let that be enough. With some projects around the house that have turned out less than perfect, I have to let them be good enough as well.

5. Love speaks different languages.

Have you read this book? I read it several years ago and re-read it when Matt when I were engaged. My sister was talking about it when we were together last weekend and it was a good reminder for me that we should naturally love the people in our lives with different “languages” (actions) and we’ll also love an individual with different actions at different times. For example, my sister’s love language is quality time, so I have to remind myself to be fully present and give her quality time – not just time. My main love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service, but Matt is good about knowing when I need a hug (physical touch) or some quality time. I hope to be more aware of the ways I can love the people in my life better! I may have to come up with some specific goals for this….

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I’ll be back next week with some projects and condo updates!

 

5 Things I learned in February - MrsBomb

 

 

I’m linking up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky, with Lauren for High Five for Friday, with Diary of a Real Housewife for Friday Favorites, and with the girls of Five on Friday (DarciAprilChristina, and Natasha)You can see my other Friday posts here.

 photo H54Fbutton-1_zpsa7aaa665.png FollowtheRuelsGrab button for FIVE ON FRIDAY AT THE GOOD LIFE BLOG

  • http://www.bonitalillie.com/ Bonita

    Thank you so much for sharing #1! I really needed to hear this again. I know it to be true, but sometimes it’s the hardest thing for me to do because I feel so terribly inadequate and socially inept in certain situations. But then, it’s not supposed to be about me, is it?

    • Helen Archer

      I’m so relieved to know that I’m not the only one! I feel so inadequate too but you’re right – it’s not about us!

  • JViola79

    I am visiting from Emily’s this morning. I love #3. As I read the post & went back & read it a second time, I thought …. may I also learn to give myself grace. So glad I stopped here this morning. Have a wonderful weekend!

    • Helen Archer

      I’m glad that you came to visit! I hope that we all learn to give ourselves and others more grace 🙂 I think we all need it…

  • http://www.northfieldgate.blogspot.com/ Yuko @ northfield gate

    Very insightful, Helen! Sometimes showing up and just being there is what really matters. I am slowly learning to say “no” this year. It’s not easy but I find it liberating. I will have to check out the book. I think I’m same with your sister-in-law. I love spending quality time with my loved ones and I get frustrated when I don’t get it enough 🙂 Great list – thanks for sharing! oxox

    • Helen Archer

      Thank you, Yuko! I have a feeling that I’ll be learning when to say “yes” and when to say “no” for the rest of my life! Thank you for stopping by 🙂

  • Katy

    Fun and insightful list! I love the first one about showing up…it totally matters and is something that I want to do more often even in little things.

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